How to Handle Heartbreak
In case you were wondering, these were some of the coping mechanisms used by my husband and I this week. We're not necessrily proud of all of them, but hey, this is what you have to do. It's kind of funny.
1. Ice cream: We have eaten it every single night, and I'm not ashamed to say a couple times for breakfast. It is litereally the only thing I want to eat right now, and I love my husband for going along with it.
2. Beer: We haven't gotten drunk, but there have been a couple beers every day. Fortunately, we haven't resorted to drinking it with our ice cream for breakfast.
3. No phone calls: Sorry, if you tried to call us this week, we either didn't answer, didn't return your call, or didn't even have our phones charged to see that you tried to call or leave a text message. It kind of goes along with not wanting to talk about what happened.
4. Movies and TV: I have rented 4 movies this week, and I can't say that they have even been good. Actually, they've all been borderline terrible. The Last Song, Hot Tub Time Machine, and Remember Me were less than memorable. Tonight Avatar is on the playlist, so hopefully that won't disappoint. In addition to the movie rentals, there has been lots of TBS, Comedy Central, and HGTV. More than I'd like to admit.
5. Sleep: Remember how I was too excited to sleep for most of August? That is not a problem now. We've been going to be before 11:00 (which is a rare thing for us), sleeping in as late as possible, and taking naps. If you know me, you know I'm not usually a napper. This week, I have to do it to get by.
6. Eating Out: I'm not hungry much these days due to the sinking feeling and pain in the pit of my stomach. However, when we do get hungry beyond what ice cream or beer can sustain us, we've been eating out. We've been to Chili's, Palasta, Panera Bread, McDonald's, and Cafe Jess Smith. There has been absolutely no cooking going on.
7. Spending Money: So much for the cash budget. This week has been all about comfort, and I'm afraid to say buying fun things is part of it. It hasn't set us back too much though... Herb bought something for his guitar, I splurged at Salvation Army (a whole $15), and I did treat myself to some Pampered Chef items today, too.
8. Quality Time: We have both canceled all plans (except work) we had for the week in exchange for just being together. It's just good to be in the room with the only person who is feeling exactly what you are feeling at that moment and not having to say anything.
9. Clothing and Personal Hygiene: Life is just so much better if you don't have to wake up, shower, and get dressed. I have spent many days in sweat pants and a t-shirt. Life just seems 100% better on days that don't require wearing a bra.
10. Hybernation: Other than ice cream, movies, and eating out, we have been staying home a lot. It's actually really nice to do that sometimes.
I don't plan to rely on these vices for very much longer. Monday morning brings routine as I go back to school, and my scale says ice cream for breakfast and sitting around watching movies has to end, too.
Thanks for being understanding and giving us each the space we have been needing this week. We will return to our regulary scheduled programming tomorrow.
1. Ice cream: We have eaten it every single night, and I'm not ashamed to say a couple times for breakfast. It is litereally the only thing I want to eat right now, and I love my husband for going along with it.
2. Beer: We haven't gotten drunk, but there have been a couple beers every day. Fortunately, we haven't resorted to drinking it with our ice cream for breakfast.
3. No phone calls: Sorry, if you tried to call us this week, we either didn't answer, didn't return your call, or didn't even have our phones charged to see that you tried to call or leave a text message. It kind of goes along with not wanting to talk about what happened.
4. Movies and TV: I have rented 4 movies this week, and I can't say that they have even been good. Actually, they've all been borderline terrible. The Last Song, Hot Tub Time Machine, and Remember Me were less than memorable. Tonight Avatar is on the playlist, so hopefully that won't disappoint. In addition to the movie rentals, there has been lots of TBS, Comedy Central, and HGTV. More than I'd like to admit.
5. Sleep: Remember how I was too excited to sleep for most of August? That is not a problem now. We've been going to be before 11:00 (which is a rare thing for us), sleeping in as late as possible, and taking naps. If you know me, you know I'm not usually a napper. This week, I have to do it to get by.
6. Eating Out: I'm not hungry much these days due to the sinking feeling and pain in the pit of my stomach. However, when we do get hungry beyond what ice cream or beer can sustain us, we've been eating out. We've been to Chili's, Palasta, Panera Bread, McDonald's, and Cafe Jess Smith. There has been absolutely no cooking going on.
7. Spending Money: So much for the cash budget. This week has been all about comfort, and I'm afraid to say buying fun things is part of it. It hasn't set us back too much though... Herb bought something for his guitar, I splurged at Salvation Army (a whole $15), and I did treat myself to some Pampered Chef items today, too.
8. Quality Time: We have both canceled all plans (except work) we had for the week in exchange for just being together. It's just good to be in the room with the only person who is feeling exactly what you are feeling at that moment and not having to say anything.
9. Clothing and Personal Hygiene: Life is just so much better if you don't have to wake up, shower, and get dressed. I have spent many days in sweat pants and a t-shirt. Life just seems 100% better on days that don't require wearing a bra.
10. Hybernation: Other than ice cream, movies, and eating out, we have been staying home a lot. It's actually really nice to do that sometimes.
I don't plan to rely on these vices for very much longer. Monday morning brings routine as I go back to school, and my scale says ice cream for breakfast and sitting around watching movies has to end, too.
Thanks for being understanding and giving us each the space we have been needing this week. We will return to our regulary scheduled programming tomorrow.
The first week or so after my husband leaves on deployment, I do many of the same things you've talked about. I did them all again when I had a miscarriage. Ice cream! Naps! Numb the brain with Netflix! Buy that thing I've had my eye on!
ReplyDeleteYou do what you have to in order to get through the pain.
we also had a loss of our own this week---and you're exactly right----being in a room with someone who is feeling your same pain and not having to say a word, is comforting---------Bravo to you for turning off the phones----will be praying for the both of you
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OA3MSqufJP4
ReplyDeletethis song this week drew me to think of you and offer up prayers while listening. hugs and love
(ps if link doesn't work- it's No Matter What by Kerrie Roberts)
So sorry to hear things fell through with your adoption. As a waiting mom myself I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. I think we all just have to have faith that the baby we are meant to parent will come to us. It seriously sucks that some of us have a more difficult journey to parenthood than others. I hope your baby finds his or her way to you soon.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about the change of plans... You are both in my prayers, and my heart hurts for you! Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI think I would be coping the exact same way! Except with more beer! LoL
ReplyDelete*hugs*